MattI hate failure. Who doesn’t? The feeling of defeat and shame that comes with failure is perhaps one of the worst emotional experiences I can name. If that’s the case – why would I willingly choose to not only accept failure, but willingly pursue it? Because failure and growth are intrinsically linked in the concept of the growth mindset.
As a pastor once told me, “knowledge without application breeds arrogance”. I’ve collected plenty of knowledge over the years, from school, YouTube videos, books, films, etc. However, my desire for perfection has kept me from applying any of that knowledge for fear of failure. I’ve instead been content to wield that knowledge as a weapon, using it to judge others for not knowing something or for doing things the “wrong way”. It was far easier to critique than it was to create. The pastor was right: I was arrogant.
What is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset?
Here’s a comparison of the concepts of growth mindset and fixed mindset:
Growth Mindset:
- Believes that skills and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning
- Embraces challenges as opportunities for growth
- Views failure as feedback and an opportunity to learn
- Focuses on the process of learning and improvement
- Believes in the power of hard work and dedication
- Sees effort and perseverance as the key to success
Fixed Mindset:
- Believes that skills and intelligence are innate and cannot be changed
- Avoids challenges and becomes discouraged by failure
- Views failure as a reflection of personal shortcomings
- Focuses on the outcome and the results achieved
- Believes in the limitations of natural talent
- Sees success as a result of innate abilities rather than effort and perseverance.
How a fixed mindset manifested itself in my life
Growing up, my parents did their best to help me find my passion by enrolling me in a variety of activities – swimming, painting, piano, debate – often at my own request. While I found some measure of success in most of those endeavors (I still don’t think my body is cut out for sports), I jumped ship after a few years of each activity because the imposter syndrome I struggled with eventually became too much for me. I was worried I would fall flat on my face and produce something truly laughable, ruining the respect I’d gained from others and betraying the expectations others held of me in the process, or worse, deflating my own ego.
Yet, even after abandoning pursuit after pursuit, I’ve still felt called to explore my creativity in other ways. What does that look like, you might ask? Well – I’ve gone down a wide variety of YouTube rabbit holes over the past several years, ranging from cooking to leatherworking, permaculture to architecture. It seemed like behind each suggested video, there was a “what if” whispering in my ear. What if I had taken my art more seriously in college? What if I had considered a career in design or architecture? What if I spent more time practicing piano instead of all those nights I wasted away playing video games?
How does failure help you grow?
Failing can have a profound impact on the brain, affecting our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. When we experience failure, our brain releases stress hormones such as cortisol, which can trigger negative emotions such as frustration, disappointment, and anxiety. At the same time, failure can also activate the brain’s default network, leading to negative self-talk, rumination, and a decrease in motivation.
However, it’s important to note that our response to failing is largely shaped by our mindset and beliefs about failure. Those with a growth mindset, who view mistakes as a learning opportunity, are more likely to experience positive emotions and bounce back from setbacks. On the other hand, individuals with a fixed mindset, who view failure as a reflection of their abilities, are more likely to experience negative emotions and give up in the face of challenge.
The effects of failure on the brain are complex and multi-faceted, shaped by both biological and psychological factors. However, by adopting a growth mindset and reframing failure as a learning opportunity, individuals can mitigate the negative effects of failure and harness its potential for growth and development.
Applying the concept to my own life
After what seems like more than a decade of asking myself “what if”, I’ve finally decided that I’m done asking that question. While I’ve learned a lot from my binge watching sessions, I’ve decided to make use of it in a more tangible way by methodically and intentionally pursuing each interest I have, giving myself the kindness, opportunity, and space to fail while simultaneously opening myself to the chance of finding a lifelong creative passion. I’ll be trying to learn the following skills:
- Reframe my thinking: I will choose to view mistakes as valuable learning opportunities, not as a reflection of my abilities or worth. This can help reduce the stress and anxiety associated with failure and increase my motivation to keep trying.
- Seek feedback: I will ask for feedback from others, especially after a failure. This will provide valuable insight into areas for improvement and help me grow and develop.
- Embrace challenges: I will seek out new experiences and embrace the opportunities for growth and learning that they bring. By embracing challenges, I can build my motivation, resilience, and confidence.
My overarching goals
My goals for this blog are the following:
- Hold myself accountable by posting an update on my progress each week
- Share the thought process behind each endeavor and document lessons learned
- Overcome my fear of failure and step into new, uncharted creative territory
I plan on completing the following action items by next week, 12/4/22:
- Map the full landscape of my various interests
- Identify my constraints (time, financial, space)
- Pick a hobby and begin my first project
I sincerely hope you’ll follow along on this journey with me and take inspiration from the failures (and hopefully growth) you see along the way. Your support and encouragement will mean the world to me.
Looking forward to new passions,
Matt